Sometimes it feels really sh*t, then gets really good

I’ve been running a business for nearly 10 years now, and in a way that’s connected very closely to my own growth and change as a person. It’s hard to find a way to say that that doesn’t come over as pretentious, but let’s push through it.

So getting past my reluctance to sound like a TikTok creator who’s just discovered astrology, I really want to talk about something that’s come up so many times in my business journey, and yet takes me by surprise every time.

When something needs to change, grow or become more authentic, it can feel dreadful before it feels amazing.

Last time this happened, it was because I’d had an eye-opening conversation that made it clear that something I was doing for work wasn’t what I truly wanted. I felt physically nauseous, exhausted and pale for days as a direct result. There’s a reason why I’d buried that knowledge (too scary), and once I uncovered it, I felt half let’s go, bitches and half like throwing up. Actually, the ratio was more like 20/80.

For some reason, I always forget this, and when I hit a growth moment in my business (or life) I think I’ll zoom off, powered by my new discovery and dance my way into the next level like a Strictly professional. And sometimes that does happen. But often, it’s awkward before it’s elegant, as my brilliant former coach, Nicola Wilkes would say.

The payoff, though, is that the depth of discomfort in these phases is often proportional to the size of the growth. And I don’t know about you, but the start of 2025 has had a LOT of the discomfort, as far as I can tell. So I can only assume we’re due a lorry-load of levelling-up quite soon.

• If you’re interested in the astrology of the current season, I like the Chani app.